If I could have one DDO spell in real life

Inspired by Geoffhanna’s If I could have one DDO spell in real life Read his first is is much better then what ever I am about to write.

I think almost every D&D nerd has asked this question at one time or another. And while I tend to agree with Geoffhanna that there are a great number of spells that appeal to me. He hits most of the biggies: Invisibility, Dimension Door, Teleport, Fly (oh to fly /cry), Charm/Dominate; he even covers the helpful divine magics. But a few major spells come to mind that his list is lacking.

Disintegrate, the best removal spell ever. Just think about it; It handles every major problem. Cheating girl friend? Nope. Don’t like the stance you boss is taking on a topic? He might see things you way as his office starts to turn to dust. Yep, Disintegrate is a real contender.

Polymorph any Thing: Similar problem solving spell as disintegrate, but allows a more “humane” way to handle said problems. Need some cash? Bricks are cheap, gold is not. New car? Old is new again. Don’t want to eat your veggies? Broccoli becomes Bacon.

Wall of Force: How many times have you been blocked by a “mysterious” wall of force? Again handles most problems? But requires a little more creativity. How much do you want to work for it.

Create Undead, What their dead? Look if you don’t want a castle made with the bodies the living dead, I don’t think we can be friends any more. 🙂

One of the ones that I would like the most would be Magnificent Mansion. You can create a extradimensional mansion filled and stocked with your hearts desire, yes please. Sure I live in the middle of no place, but walk in to my tree and let me show you around. Here is the pool room. Why yes that wall is a HDTV. And I never have to clean.

But the biggie and most bad ass spell on the list: Shapechange. I want to be a dragon, or an eagle, maybe just be Ryan Reynolds or the new Conan for a few hours, done and done. Want to take a swim, Shark. Or maybe just hang out and do nothing? Sloth time.

But you know what? I think that Magnificent Mansion spell is my winner. Yep. Lets run down Geoffhanna’s examples:

Oh really, Mr. Boss, I am getting only a 1% raise this year? Wait, Why am I working? I have a great house with everything I could want? Maybe boredom if so, 1% is fine.

Sure Officer, here’s my license and registration … Wait, Why am driving? The living room and the dinning room is not so far away I need to drive. Wait! What the hell is a traffic cop doing in my house anyway?

Yes Ms. Bill Collector,… You want my house? Take it. I will move into a box. I don’t care.

No Mr. Imperial Stormtrooper these are not the droids you seek… Humm, okay maybe they are or maybe the ones seek are in the sub sub sub basement. 🙂

Also think of the house parties I could have. You all could come over. We could trash the place. And when we were done, I could just summon up another one. The clear winner.

3 thoughts on “If I could have one DDO spell in real life

  1. Two words:
    Merfolks Blessing.
    1. Zombies float
    2.keep your dry land, my house is now 75% of the earth.
    3.food- fish swims by, grab it, eat it, repeat.

  2. Fireball. I like the idea of being able to throw fireballs at fools.

    Or maybe I’m influenced by Dragon Age and Anders.
    I don’t want ONE spell. I wish I could be an arcane irl. Now that’d be kick arse.

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