Day 2 Chapt 2

So for the first time since Friday I slept for more then 3-4 hours. I don’t remember dreaming about working, catching myself dreaming about working and then wakening up because I don’t need to me working in my sleep anymore. And yet some how i am still exhausted… Man this is just weird. So long in my go to work, come home, die repeat rut; things are strange not doing that.

Okay read today’s chapter, good stuff. Time to get sappy with 6 or so questions and answers.

2.1, Respond to “All progress requires change, but not all change is progress.”

Sounds fairly right. It would be hard to move forward if you are always standing still, but it is also hard to move forward if you are doing the chicken dance.

2.2, Describe your career path in one statement.
For some reason i keep wanting to make this one word replies, so i am going to just list those thoughts: Halted, Varied, Unforeseen.

I am not sure what that means? Am i still in a morning stage?

2.3, How has company change affected you? How did i feel about said change?
We hired Jordan, a fellow php dev, and he was a great help. I felt a lot of relief that there wasn’t as much on my shoulders alone. But at the same time i felt that there was a challenge to keep up with the new guy bringing new tools and new ideas. I think he helped bust me out of my work rut and motivated me to work beyond my go to tool set.

2.4, Have i had any failure in my career? What did said failure lead to?

I have to say i feel like this is a fail right now. In the words of a friend of a friend “the company got me, i didn’t get the company” meaning i was asked to leave not left them wanting more. I knew that my boss was looking for the right excuse or the last one to push things over the top. I could have/should have beaten him to the punch. Thing is i am super loyal to places i have worked. My favorite fast food is still from the place i worked in high school, my favorite radio station is the one i worked at when i was going to college. Had i not needed to move on with my life, school/marriage/financial responsibilities i would be happy working at those places today. Same with GP, sure there where things i didn’t like at all those places but not enough to make me want to leave.

2.5, What were my childhood goals/ambitions? Which ones have i achieved?

I wanted to be a pilot so bad. When i had the chance i went to flight school and learned i loved to fly but hated the requirements and cost to becoming a pilot for hire. I didn’t want to be a flight instructor (which is more or less the only way to get the hours to even thing about being a pro-pilot). I remember wanting to be a oceanographer. lolz! But think that was mostly a Kansas boy wanting to be away from fields and cattle. Other then that all i remember was wanting to be away from home at all costs.

2.5, Name 2 or 3 people that have seemed to accomplished their dreams? What do i know about their accomplishments?

This one is kind of easy. People like Jerry, Tolero and Glin aka Eric seem to have found the magic. They are “living the dream” and making fantasy come to life. I know they all have had different hardships. Think i said on the live from GenCon Cocktail Hour that Glin was the most interesting person i have ever known (think he told me he was turned down for basically his current job the year before he got it). And Jerry’s struggles are simi-well known, but if you don’t know he also worked in radio aka the dying media… And yet they kept at it because that is where they wanted to be.

2.6 What do you think retirement will be like?

Can i just laugh and call this one done? No? I don’t know. Want i want right now more then anything is to sell everything get an RV and take off do what i need to as i need to when it becomes time to fill the tank or start that little farm someplace where it is fairly nice year round and can live mostly off grid. I would still need internet access, i am not a stone statue… But do i really think it will be like? I just don’t know. Maybe that commune will happen?

 

Okay all i want to skim at tomorrows reading, check on the chickens and greenhouse, maybe do some cooking and i want to do a ddo related update.

 

Hope to see you all real soon,

<3s

Day 2, Chap 1

I have just finished reading chapter 1 of 48 days and as promised i will be doing the assignments here for the world to see for accountability and content. 🙂

1, Ask yourself what work has meant so far: Looking back at all the jobs i have had over the years i think that everyone has started out as fun and challenging, like new content in ddo, then as i master the tasks i become tired and then ultimately i am grinding away for the end reward that is a paycheck.

2, What was i born to do: I saw this question when i was doing the overview on Friday and have been thinking on it all weekend. And i think the answer is story teller… Is that an option? Not a writer but someone that just tells stories. Think that is why i love pod casting or Dming or tring to stumble through this blog thing. I just want to tell stories and have people laugh or cry or anything really. On the other hand i am a natural Devil’s Advocate and/or teacher. Not real sure how those things go together…

3, Has my work and what i was born to do matched? Sometimes.. At my last place of work, as a web dev i often got to craft tools to do a task or allow others to manage a task. I see that as a way to tell a story every part order or warranty claim is like a mini-story… Designing a web tool for me is like building a quest or adventure, then allowing the user to complete the quest in the smoothest way possible. It takes research and planing and then the doing… I am good at the doing, but i enjoying the planing. Wonder if there is a planner job out there???

Eight more here stay with me.

1.1, My first job… The neighbors down the road gave me my first job, cleaning out their goat barn, think i made 20 or 30$…

1.2, What has been the greatest value or worth in my work life? If i am looking at financially i would have to say the system i put in place at Great Plains to handle parts orders. I know that they easily can handle 13 million in parts orders a day in part due to the ease of my part order system. If i am talking about to myself i think i would say the warranty claim system i built. There was no real frame work for that one, it was all in my head and i brought it to life totally by myself…. Is this what Jerry means when he says “system engineer”? I don’t know…

1.3, If you job changes does your purpose change? Yes, new challenges always allows new growth and purpose. Mountains must be climbed, right?

1.4, Will your current job exist 5 years from now? If by current you mean unemployed, then yes. If you mean web dev, then also yes. If anything more and more tasks will be moving to the web, just look at the US’ health care exchanges… Maybe that wasn’t a great example…

1.5, What are the ideal characteristics of a job/career? Challenge, Change, Quality People and measurable meaning. That last one is a little strange but in a nut shell i like being able to say i did this and it saves/makes X dollars a year or this saves person Y this much time per task… That is a great feeling.

1.6, When i daydream what am i doing? I dream about a lot of things. Right now i think my main fantasy is a small farm but that was when i felt oppressed or trapped at work. For the longest time i wanted nothing more then to work on DDo, not on its web site but on the game itself. Is it sad to say i want to fix bugs? Maybe i am just tired of so many bugs in my game? But if i could just do anything? I want to talk and just tell stories. Can you be a pro-Dm?

1.7, What are the happiest moments of my life? Okay lets start with the 2 clear winners, my wedding day and my son’s birth. Just thinking about how those days made me feel is making me tear up like a little bitch.. Stupid feeling. Those two days aside, i think taping a few of the DDoCocktailHours have been real highlights, the one and only live show i got to do on air was real fun even if my 3/4 dyslexia made repeating phone numbers real hard. But i also remember many late nights Dming at the pizza hut and the real joy i had watching Warranty Claims start to roll in when dealers could finally start to enter claims online. Those were all good days.

1.8, If nothing changed in my life in the next 5 years would that be okay? Hmm, no. Daddy needs a paycheck. Ask me that a week ago and i would have said sure, but meant mostly. The job was never my problem. Although i was a little behind on current skills but i was working on that. No my main issue was a boss that had decided and told me “you made my life hard for a while, now i am going to make your life hard.” I don’t want to get into that again but really all of my stress at work was due to him and my pay. Funny thing was when i got my last pre-firing paycheck i looked at the amount on the check and my bills and found a happy place with my salary…

That is all the questions for today. I think the idea was to get me to think about what overall makes me happy as a person and how i might take that and find something that calls to me?

Anyone out there that needs a storytelling programmer that is mostly is needed to plan things out or teach others things feel free to share this blog with the HR department.

As always,

Unemployed

Today was a normal day. Got up, dressed while watching a show that recorded the night before. Got the kid to school and headed into work. In the parking lot I noticed that my boss’ light was on and thought to myself that it was strange that he was in so early. I was going to pop in and say good morning and ask when we could get together to review some things, but he wasn’t in his office.

Going down the hall I notice that he is in his boss’ office and I wondered what was broken. As I was walking by the my boss, Chris, opens the door and asks me to come in.

Sure….

Then I see the head of Hr around the corner and the look on my boss’ boss’ face… I knew I was in trouble but I didn’t really expect the words “Your Fired” to be involved. Not really. Maybe a scolding and an official warning or something but not that.

Long story short, my boss and I never saw eye to eye on a lot of things and while I did my best to bend to his idea of a good employee it wasn’t meant to be. Earlier in the week when I wouldn’t bash a fellow employee because he was doing his job, I gave him the excuse he was looking for, I was not on “HIS Team”.

As i write this I am still in shock. I wish I could say I didn’t know he was hoping I would do something that he could take to his boss and use to get me fired. I knew that weeks ago, but I assumed my work, which while not always used the latest-greatest programming style/tools but was stable and made a lot of money for the company, would shield me from his personal feelings. Guess not.

So today after I made my wife cry and emptied the box that I brought my things home in am sitting here at my desk making a decision to fine a job that I love like I did when i first started at Great Plains. Ideally one at Turbine where i can help them not make bad decisions… But that is just a dream and right now i need to walk the path to something more then just a dream. I will need a paycheck real damn soon!

To that end, I have bought the kindle version of “48 Days to the Work You Love”. Reading the first bit has the book laid out in a day by day assignment layout with lots of accountability which i will share with you all here, as well as my DDo/Mtg/Gardening/Misc BS…

I am going to give myself a few days to go through the grieving process but starting on Monday look forward to me getting my shit together.

Send me your prayers and/or well wishes. But later when I start my audio book send me your cash. 🙂

As always,
<3s